You may be a High Tech Redneck if…

You may be a High Tech Redneck if…. (Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy) you have old computers up on blocks in the front yard. your e-mail address ends in “over.yonder.com.” you connect to the World Wide Web via a “Down Home Page.” the bumper sticker on your truck says “My other computer is a laptop.” your …

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Technology for Country Folk

Log On: Making a wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don’t add no more wood. Monitor: Keeping an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin’ the farwood off the truk. Mega Hertz: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood. Floppy Disc: Whutcha git from tryin’ ta carry too much farwood. Ram: That thar thing whut splits …

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Redneck Medical Dictionary

The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms Benign: What you be after you be eight. Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome. CATscan: Searching for kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A sheep dog. Coma: A punctuation mark. …

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You Know You’re A Redneck If

You Know You’re A Redneck If: You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. You were shooting pool when any of your children were born. Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos.” Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.” …

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