Six Presidents

6 Presidents on a sinking boat Ford says: “What do we do” Bush says: “Man the lifeboats” Reagan says: “What lifeboats” Carter says: “Women first” Nixon says: “Screw the women” Clinton says: “You think we have time?” Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 11:56:34 -0500

Al Gore

True story………. Have any of you heard how Al Gore lives a Christ centered life? He gave a big speech this week about how his faith is “so important” to him. Well, the funny part is, he said his favorite Bible verse is “John 16:3”. Of course, the speech writer meant “John3:16” but Al & …

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Cow-ism

Socialism — If you have 2 cows, you give one to your neighbor. Communism — If you have 2 cows, you give them to the government; and the government gives you some milk. Fascism — If you have 2 cows, you keep the cows but give the milk to the government, who then sells you …

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Lemon Juice

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the …

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Clinton’s Dream

Bill Clinton has a dream in which he meets George Washington. He says, “George, what can I do to make things better for the people?” George Washington says, “Lower the taxes.” Clinton replies, “Oh, George, I can’t do that.” The next night, Clinton dreams again but this time Thomas Jefferson is there. “Thomas,” Clinton says, …

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