To all in-house computer users. As some of you know we have been having various hardware and software problems, especially installing some of our new software. I have not been able to fix many of these and I have thus become very frustrated. With that in mind and because of heightened concern over Y2K problems, …
BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.) OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB. AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI VIRUS: Every …
I have a spell checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot see Eye ran this poem threw it Your sure real glad two no Its very polished in its own weigh My chequer tolled me sew A cheek or is a blessing It freeze …
Please take time out of your busy lives to check your toilet paper stockpile. Make sure it is Y2K compliant. Word has it, if it isn’t, come January 1, 2000, it will roll back to 1900, then turn into a Sears Roebuck Catalog(s).
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also stole Windows …
Numbers can be used to prove anything it seems. Here is one of the strangest I’ve seen lately. Proof that Bill Gates is the Devil: The real name of “the” Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where “III” means the order of third (3rd.) By converting …
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the …
The Top Internet Commandments 12. Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out. 11. Thou shalt *** EARN *** REDEMPTION *** FAST!!!! *** 10. Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted. 9. Thou shalt not pop up any unwanted windows before me, …
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and …
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the …
