ANN LANDERS Creators Syndicate Inc. Friday, November 27, 1998 Dear Ann: I am one of the millions of women who laughed out loud when I read the letter from “Bob in Worcester, Mass.” He insisted that no woman could fake an orgasm. The reason I thought this was so funny was because although I can …
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, “Preacher, I don’t believe the Bible mentions PMS.” The preacher replied …
Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England nor french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore …
“Octogenarian’s Wedding Night” At 85 years, a fello marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for …
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DRIVER’S LICENSE APPLICATION: Name: _________________________________________ Address: ______________________________________ Gang Affiliations: ____________________________ Stage name: ___________________________________ Agent: ________________________________________ Attorney: _____________________________________ Sex: [ ] male [ ] formerly male [ ] both [ ] female [ ] formerly female [ ] sometimes If female, indicate breast implant size: ____ Will the size of your implants hinder your …
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A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these …
As only a child could do… A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar…so it went, …
How to Handle Stress Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called “the world.” The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of …
The passengers on a commercial airliner have been seated and are waiting for the cockpit crew to get underway. A mummur is heard in the back of the plane, and a few passengers on the aisle glance back to see the pilot and copilot, both wearing large dark sunglasses, making their way up to the …
Ellen Degeneres virus…..Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC Monica Lewinsky virus….Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic virus…..Makes your whole computer go down Disney virus….Everthing in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson virus……Quits after one byte Prozac virus……Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care Sharon Stone virus….Makes a huge initial …
