Ok, the story behind this… There’s this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his …
The elder priest invited the younger priest to dinner. The younger priest was startled at how attractive the elder priest’s housekeeper proved to be. When she left for the evening, the elder priest observed: “I could not help but notice the attention you gave to my housekeeper. No doubt you have questions in your mind. …
You know you are an Email/Internet Junkie If: You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. You get a tattoo that reads “This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher.” You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom. …
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball- don’t knock out any windows. It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.” The wife teed up and shanked it right through …
A mangy looking guy named Harvey goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.” Harvey says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?” The bartender says, …
What did the fish say when it was swimming upstream and hit its head on a concrete wall? DAM!
Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows 95 on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows 95 CD. To my surprise he threw it into my micro-wave …
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off of you when you die. — Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. — What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a …
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying “Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick told the farmer “No, we can’t have …
A scientist finally succeeded in cloning himself, but all his clone would do was hang around and spew out cuss words. After a week of that, the scientist finally got fed up and pushed his clone out of his 10th story office window. A short time later there was a knock on his office door. …
