A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they …
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other: “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The …
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘grownup words,’” she’d always remind them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana,” Wendy said. “No, you …
A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first day, the manager shows the kid around, and explains that the company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The kid looked confused so the manager said he would show him what he meant. Now, it just so happened that …
St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, …
After George Welsh dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on tour. He shows George a little two-bedroom house with a faded UVA banner hanging from the front porch. “This is your house, coach. Most people don’t get their own houses up here,” God says. George looks at the house, then turns around …
The Top Internet Commandments 12. Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out. 11. Thou shalt *** EARN *** REDEMPTION *** FAST!!!! *** 10. Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted. 9. Thou shalt not pop up any unwanted windows before me, …
May 30th Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here. June 14th …
CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA. CITIES OF SJLBVDNZV, GRZNY TO BE FIRST. Before an emergency joint session of Congress today President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters …
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole new line of drugs oriented toward improving the performance of men in today’s society. DIRECTRA: A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask for directions when they got lost, compared …
