You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged …
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What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart. A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.” So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a …
What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart. A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.” So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a …
1. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. 2. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. 3. Money can’t buy happiness…But it sure makes misery easier to live with. 4. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. 5. A truly wise man …
A Reader’s Guide to the World’s Shortest Books 20. Gourmet English Cooking 19. Al Gore: The Wild Years 18. Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean 17. America’s Most Popular Lawyers 16. Career Opportunities for History Majors 15. Detroit – A Travel Guide 14. Different Ways to Spell “Bob” 13. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection of Motivational …
Scoring guide: 20 Correct – Genius 17 Correct – Above Normal 15 Correct – Normal 8 Correct – Nincompoop 6 Correct – Moron 3 Correct – Idiot Questions: 1) Do they have a 4th of July in England? 2) How many birthdays does the average man have? 3) Some months have 31 days; how many …
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.” — Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “I’m …
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu, he says, “I’ll just have the eggs benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a huge fancy chrome plate. He asks the waiter, “What’s with the fancy plate?” …
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
