A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle …
Male vs. Female at the ATM HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far …
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers down Hwy 82 (El Camino Real NW of San Jose ) stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over …
There would be a “Rehearsal Kegger” rather than a “Rehearsal Dinner”. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention …
A pastor was giving the children’s message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children’s church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, …
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: HUMAN RESOURCES DATE: SEPTEMBER 7, 1998 RE: REST ROOM USE POLICY In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest room under informal guidelines. Effective at the beginning of next month, a rest room trip policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for …
The following list on the ways graduate students and faculty miscommunicate by Roderick M. Kramer and Joanne Martin, both professors at Stanford University, rings all too true, at least from my experience. How about you? HOW GRADUATE STUDENTS AND FACULTY MISCOMMUNICATE By Roderick M. Kramer and Joanne Martin* What Faculty Say/what Faculty Really Mean I …
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Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. Bad …
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. The bucket was so full, several …
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. “You’ve been such exemplary statues, “he announced to them, “I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in …
