Four Catholic ladies were having coffee one afternoon, bragging to one another about their successful sons. The first woman tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic woman chirps in, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people …
10) Competition is good. 90% market share is better. 9) We’re disappointed that the US government failed to reach a reasonable settlement with Microsoft. We thought that our press release last year about Microsoft buying the US government took care of these little details. 8) We support a free marketplace. So long as our support …
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A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, “That’s once.” A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, “That’s twice.” After a little while, the poor old horse …
Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake …
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH: 1. He went into his father’s business 2. He lived at home until the age of 33 3. He thought his mother was a virgin, and his mother thought he was God THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH: 1. He never got married. 2. He never held a steady …
There were two brothers who were national yodeling champions. One day their car broke down out in the middle of nowhere and they had to put up at a farmhouse. As fate would have it there was a beautiful farmer’s daughter at the house. The two brothers had a way of communicating over several miles …
In case you have not heard of this yet, the state of Michigan sent this letter to a person who owns the land that some beavers have built a dam on a pond. Just read the reply letter, it’s a classic! STATE OF MICHIGAN Reply to: GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR …
Bob was showing off his bird dog to his friend Bill. They went down towards a lake and Bob said to the dog, “How many ducks are there boy?” The dog raced off to the lake, came back a couple of minutes later, and barked twice. Seconds later, two ducks floated into view. “That was …
BOYS A heart is not a play thing, a heart is not a toy, but if you want it broken, Just give it to a boy. Boys they like to play with things To see what makes them run, But when it comes to kissing, They do it just for fun. Boys never give their …
A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, …
