A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.” The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.” The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.” “Oh …
Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “I wonder if there are any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Do you have any Chinese Jews in China?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” …
The way it is… During Creation: God created the mule and told him, “You will be mule, working constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years. The mule answered, “To live like this for 40 years is too much. …
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, …
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was “running it under Windows.” The woman responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that’s a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his …
20) Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’95. 19) Fetch command not available on all platforms. 18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. 17) Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit. 16) Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.” 15) Fire hydrant icon …
Continue reading ‘Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don’t Use Computers’ »
Here’s A Puzzle for You: Schwartznegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The Pope has one but doesn’t use it, Clinton uses his all the time, Mickey Mouse has an unusual one, George Burns’ was hot, Liberace NEVER used his on women, Jerry Seinfeld is very …
Calling me with a stupid question you can’t quite articulate – $30 Implying I’m incompetent because I can’t interpret your inarticulate problem description – $1000 + punitive damages Questions received via phone without first trying help desk – $10.00 Questions where answer is in TFM – $100.00 Calling me back with the same problem *after* …
Q: If the Force with Yoda is so strong, construct a sentence with in the proper order the words then why can’t he? A: Know I not the answer. Perhaps the swamp air breathing too long he has, hmmmm!
Take this note, you who are weary and jaded. If you ignore all chain letters, read this, it is the fire that fights fire. ****THIS IS THE WORLD’S FINAL CHAIN-LETTER.**** You have been sent a blessing. Those who have followed the instructions on this letter have received good fortune, as you will. The rewards of …
