I ask to be, or not to be. That is the question, I ask of me. This sullied life, it makes me shudder. My uncle’s boffing dear, sweet mother. Would I, could I take my life? Could I, should I, end this strife? Should I jump out of a plane? Or throw myself before a …
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They …
We’ve heard Clinton’s earlier remarks regarding lying to the American public. Here’s your right to know the following . . . (check date and source) “Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the media with pornographic material while pretending it …
A Chapel Hill area mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss, he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement there …
Lord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to Change the things I cannot accept, And the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And, help me to be careful Of the toes I step on today as …
Phone conversations last 30 seconds You know useful stuff about cars, tanks and airplanes A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase Bathroom lines are 80% shorter You can open all your own jars Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight When clicking thru the channels you don’t have to …
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Log On: Making a wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don’t add no more wood. Monitor: Keeping an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin’ the farwood off the truk. Mega Hertz: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood. Floppy Disc: Whutcha git from tryin’ ta carry too much farwood. Ram: That thar thing whut splits …
Date: Fri, 18 Sep 1998 09:31:52 -0500 10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote (Men don’t want to see what’s on television, they want to see WHAT …
One day a rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, he had everything; money, a big house in Beverly Hills, girls, cars, planes; anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles. So there he was, he and his friends all …
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he …
