The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms
- Benign:
- What you be after you be eight.
- Artery:
- The study of paintings.
- Bacteria:
- Back door to cafeteria.
- Barium:
- What doctors do when patients die.
- Cesarean Section:
- A neighborhood in Rome.
- CATscan:
- Searching for kitty.
- Cauterize:
- Made eye contact with her.
- Colic:
- A sheep dog.
- Coma:
- A punctuation mark.
- D & C:
- Where Washington is.
- Dilate:
- To live long.
- Enema:
- Not a friend.
- Fester:
- Quicker than someone else.
- Fibula:
- A small lie.
- Genital:
- Non-Jewish person.
- G.I. Series:
- World Series of military baseball.
- Hangnail:
- What you hang your coat on.
- Impotent:
- Distinguished, well known.
- Labor Pain:
- Getting hurt at work.
- Medical Staff:
- A Doctor’s cane.
- Morbid:
- A higher offer than I bid.
- Nitrates:
- Cheaper than day rates.
- Node:
- I knew it.
- Outpatient:
- A person who has fainted.
- Pap Smear:
- A fatherhood test.
- Pelvis:
- Second cousin to Elvis.
- Post Operative:
- A letter carrier.
- Recovery Room:
- Place to do upholstery.
- Rectum:
- Damn near killed him.
- Secretion:
- Hiding something.
- Seizure:
- Roman emperor.
- Tablet:
- A small table.
- Terminal Illness:
- Getting sick at the airport.
- Tumor:
- More than one.
- Urine:
- Opposite of you’re out.
- Varicose:
- Near by/close by.