Redneck Jedi

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…..

  • You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll.”
  • Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
  • You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
  • At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
  • You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
  • You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
  • The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
  • Wookies are offended by your B.O.
  • You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
  • You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
  • Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side… it’ll be a hoot.”
  • You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
  • You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
  • You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
  • Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
  • You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
  • You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
  • You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
  • Your business cards read “Billy Bob, Jedi Master”.
  • Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads “My other fighter is an X-wing”.
  • You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.
  • You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.
  • When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.
  • Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.
  • Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads “Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers”
  • If you hear … “Billy Bob, I am your father … AND your uncle!”