In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio stations paid money ($100-$500) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $300….. I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office: I had been rescheduled for early that …
THE EVOLUTION OF MATHEMATICS TRAINING OVER THE PAST FIFTY YEARS Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 …
Through the marvels of technology, we were able to use the new patented Bullcrap-Canceler 9000 to see what President Clinton was *really* trying to say in his August 17th Speech to the Nation. [Translated comments are in brackets.] “President Bill Clinton’s Speach” Aug. 17, 1998 CLINTON: Good evening. [Yo.] This afternoon in this room, from …
I’M GLAD I’M A MAN I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only …
Q: What does the following encrypted message say? umop apisdn we I . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . …
The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms Benign: What you be after you be eight. Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome. CATscan: Searching for kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A sheep dog. Coma: A punctuation mark. …
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients for them to operate on: The first surgeon says: “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second responds: “Try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.” The third surgeon says: “No, librarians are the best. …
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor. 1. NAME __________ DATE OF BIRTH __________ 2. HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q __________ G.P.A. __________ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY ______-____-________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________ …
Continue reading ‘Application for Permission to Date my Daughter’ »
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes you’re in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this …
STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY CATS 1. Stray cats will not be fed. 2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food. 3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk. 4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat …
