Should I Eat My Peas?
Spurred on by my friend Ty’s tweet, I have created this flowchart explaining my dislike of peas. And actually, this flow chart can be used for many types of food.
Archive of posts filed under the Kids category.
Burial
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s …
Short Stories
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to …
Beer
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and …
Plane Trouble
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they …
Grown Up Words
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘grownup words,’” she’d always remind them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana,” Wendy said. “No, you …
What Do Babies Think?
Look Who’s Thinking – What Do Babies think? [From “The Dad Zone: Reports from the Tender, Bewildering, and Hilarious World of Fatherhood”, by Michael Burkett (Simon & Schuster, 1993)] Due to an incredible scientific breakthrough accomplished with the newest and most sophisticated brain-wave analysis devices, it is now possible to literally read the minds of …
Why Parents Get Grey
The boss needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?” “Yes,” …
Student Bloopers
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and …
Who said kids are getting dumber?
Who said children are getting dumber every year. Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That’s impossible. STUDENT: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today. TEACHER: George, go to …
