I’m tired. For a couple of years I’ve been blaming it on my iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting, and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of the USA is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do …
Women’s version: Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute! Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman2: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my …
DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson. *ahem* La la la la…. *ahem* LAAAAAAA!! DO…… the stuff… that buys me beer… RAY….. the guy that sells me beer… ME…… the guy… who drinks the beer, FAR….. a long way to get beer… SO…… I’ll have another beer… LA…… I’ll have another beer… TEA….. no …
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WAR OFFICE Dept. of the Army Regulations For Operation Of Aircraft Commencing January 1920 Don’t take the machine into the air unless you are satisfied it will fly. Never leave the ground with the motor leaking. Don’t turn sharply when taxiing. Instead of turning sharp, have someone lift the tail around. …
Continue reading ‘1920 Regulations For Operation Of Aircraft’ »
A man reads in the paper of a white gorilla in a zoo far away. He decides that he just has to see it. The journey will be a long and arduous one but he simply cannot resist. He sets out on his trip and travels by car to the docks, and catches a boat …
If Men Were to Rewrite “The Rules” Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule # 2 If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. Rule …
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died. After several days of not being rescued, they …
To whom it may concern: While working with Mr. Murthy, I have always found him working studiously and sincerely at his table without idling or gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always finishes the given assignment in time. He will always be deeply …
The sky was dark The moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn’t know how But I tried my best I …
Inside Sources at Disney’s amination studios have revealed that the next big animated release will be based on the story of the Branch Davidians. More properly known as “Students of the Seven Seals,” these wacky cultists laugh and joke their way through a fired-up full-length feature, gaining converts and plotting to take over the world …
Continue reading ‘New Disney Animated Feature: The Branch Dividians!’ »
