Beer

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and …

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The Coffin

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him … BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… Terrified, the man begins to run towards his …

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Pull Over

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the person behind the wheel was knitting! The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the driver yelled back, “SCARF!” Date: Mon, 18 Oct 1999 15:58:06 -0500

Bus Conductor

A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and …

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Baby Names

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your …

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Meet My Husband

A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter’s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter …

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Trees

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other: “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The …

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Bell Ringer

The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had just about decided to call it a day. But just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for …

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