The young male race horse came from a long line of winners, and did wonderfully in time trials. However, in actual races he proved a little too romantic, and could never quite bring himself to pass a mare. So one day the trainer went to him and told him he’d have to be castrated. The …
An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path… so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on …
Some late breaking health news from Reuters (this one is true): Thursday July 16 6:43 PM EDT Device reduces flatulence odor Activated charcoal can help people who suffer from flatulence by absorbing offensive odors, according to US researchers. The device, known as the “Toot Trapper” eliminated over 90% of the odor generated by study volunteers …
A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving him the evening off to do as he pleased since they would be out until quite late. The couple went to a ball and dinner. After an hour and a half, the Wife told her …
Letter to Thomas Jefferson The Court of King George III London, England July 10, 1776 Mr. Thomas Jefferson c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Dear Mr. Jefferson: We have read your “Declaration of Independence” with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration …
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou suck!” 6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.” 5. Defiantly says, “If I …
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For the engineers among us who understand that the obvious is not always the solution, and that the facts, no matter how implausible, are still the facts … A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: “This is the second time I have written you, and I don’t blame you for not …
Claim: A zookeeper in Paderborn, Germany was killed by an elephant defecating onto him. Status: False. Example: [Collected on the Internet, 1998] PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let …
1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed. Both are threatened by their own kind. Both mark their territory. Both are bad at asking you questions. Both have an inordinate fascination with women’s crotches. Neither does any dishes. Both pass gas shamelessly. Neither of them notice …
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. …
