Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look Michael, at what I’ve made.” Archangel …
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back …
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1,300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire. While details were not available at press time, …
A cabby picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.” She answers, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re …
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also stole Windows …
Passover is approaching. At the sedar table, every Jewish child will be retold the story of Moses and the Pharoah, and how God brought boils, locusts, hail and the other plagues onto the Egyptians. Yet in spite of this overwealming evidence of God’s intensions, Pharoah refused to let the Jews go, until a tenth plague, …
St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, …
After George Welsh dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on tour. He shows George a little two-bedroom house with a faded UVA banner hanging from the front porch. “This is your house, coach. Most people don’t get their own houses up here,” God says. George looks at the house, then turns around …
God made Adam bit Noah arked Abraham split Joseph ruled Jacob fooled Bush talked Moses balked Pharaoh plagued People walked Sea divided Tablets guided Promise landed Saul freaked David peeked Prophets warned Jesus born God walked Love talked Anger crucified Hope died Love rose Spirit flamed Word spread God remained.
A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. Mary… Mary…. Is that you Fred? Yes, …
