The Top Internet Commandments 12. Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out. 11. Thou shalt *** EARN *** REDEMPTION *** FAST!!!! *** 10. Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted. 9. Thou shalt not pop up any unwanted windows before me, …
May 30th Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here. June 14th …
CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA. CITIES OF SJLBVDNZV, GRZNY TO BE FIRST. Before an emergency joint session of Congress today President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters …
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole new line of drugs oriented toward improving the performance of men in today’s society. DIRECTRA: A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask for directions when they got lost, compared …
You Might be a Redneck Jedi If….. You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll.” Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. You can easily describe the taste of an …
A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room. There they found a strange-looking woman sitting at the door’s entrance. “Welcome to the ladies room,” she said. “Be sure to check out our newest feature a …
6 Presidents on a sinking boat Ford says: “What do we do” Bush says: “Man the lifeboats” Reagan says: “What lifeboats” Carter says: “Women first” Nixon says: “Screw the women” Clinton says: “You think we have time?” Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 11:56:34 -0500
God made Adam bit Noah arked Abraham split Joseph ruled Jacob fooled Bush talked Moses balked Pharaoh plagued People walked Sea divided Tablets guided Promise landed Saul freaked David peeked Prophets warned Jesus born God walked Love talked Anger crucified Hope died Love rose Spirit flamed Word spread God remained.
There are some people that should have to wear signs that just say, “I’m stupid.” That way you wouldn’t rely on them would you? You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like, “Excuse me…oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved from Bay Shore to Coram…our …
Your blood pressure skyrockets when tourists are standing immobile on the left side of the escalator. You would rather suffer heatstroke than drink the city water. You never refer to your boss by their name, just as their title preceded by “the” (The Secretary, The Senator, The Partner) You find yourself saying “but it’s only …
