Husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table. Husband gets up and goes to the cupboard. He brings back a bottle of tylenol and a glass of water. He places it in front of his wife. Wife says “what’s that for? I don`t have a headache.” Husband says “GOTCHA!”
A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. Mary… Mary…. Is that you Fred? Yes, …
A not so bright guy, wanting to earn some money, decided to try to find some handyman-type work and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much …
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and …
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the …
From an ex-field sales/support survivor: I used to work in a computer store and one day we had a gentleman call in with a smoking power supply. The service representative was having a bit of trouble convincing this guy that he had a hardware problem. Service Rep: Sir, something has burned within your power supply. …
(version 78.61, material by Joseph Helenihi, et al) Dear: [ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Flamer [ ] “Me too” er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek [ ] Spammer [ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] Stereotypical AOLer [ ] Freak [ ] Troller [ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist …
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can`t do everything. I …
McDonald’s Fast Food Job Application NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an …
One day many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to …
