WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE by Matt Groening (producer and creator of “The Simpsons”) RELATIONSHIPS: First of all, a man does not call it a relationship — he refers to it as “that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis.” When a relationship ends, a woman …
You might be a “high tech redneck” if…. your email address ends in “over.yonder.com” you connect to the WWW via “Down Home Page” your bumper sticker says “My other computer is a laptop” your laptop has a sticker that says “Protected by Smith & Wesson” you’ve ever doubled the value of your truck by installing …
Be afraid, be very afraid…. If you receive an e-mail with a subject of “Badtimes,” delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your …
In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new elements for the Periodic Table. Among the best of the batch: Limbaughium Lb The heaviest known element. It possesses an ever-expanding mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no light. Instantly polarizes all elements that come in contact with it. Repels protons …
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing …
FAQ: Health Care Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in …
You Know You’re A Redneck If: You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. You were shooting pool when any of your children were born. Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos.” Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.” …
(REUTERS) Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese trawler was plucked out of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship. Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship’s loss. To a man they claimed that a cow, falling out of …
“Money is neither good or bad, its what you do with it” Welcome to the Bill Gates Net Worth Page Bill Gates, President and CEO of Microsoft has been rated by Forbes Magazine as the richest man in the world for the last several years. His net worth has reached such astounding levels that we …
“Animal testing is not a good idea — they get nervous and give all the wrong answers.”
