You May Be an Engineer / Analyst if… If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife” If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner If you want an 16X CDROM for Christmas If Dilbert is your hero ***
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. Problem #1: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid. Solution #1: #2 …
There are three engineers in a car, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to …
Saddam Hussein Goes Online – Almost AMMAN (Reuter) – Fans of President Saddam Hussein can now send messages to the reclusive Iraqi president on the Internet via an official homepage set up to celebrate his 60th birthday, a computer firm said on Sunday. But well-wishers hoping for replies to their e-mail will have to patient. …
True Stories of Induhviduals —————————- Those wacky Induhviduals continue to amuse. Here are some more true sighting submitted by DNRC operatives, edited to conceal the identities of the guilty. ——– Sign in a gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar ——– True conversation with an airline: DNRC Member: “I’m traveling on your …
The Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in the South. 1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders 95. 2. Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty longneck beer bottle. 3. Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered by a Hefty bag. 4. Dialog boxes would give you …
Four surgeons were discussing their work. The first one said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.” The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.” The third said, ” …
An old guy is sitting on a bus when a punk rocker gets on. The punk rocker’s hair is red, green, yellow and orange. He has feather earrings. When he sees the old man staring at him, the punk rocker says “What’s the matter old man? Didn’t you ever do anything wild when you were …
You might be (or once were) a college student… If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents. If you have a fine …
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There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. For the sake of this story, we’ll call him Jack. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the UNIX programmers and Client/Server programmers and website developers, Jack was finally getting some respect. He’d become a …
