A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But, then the wife stops and says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband asks, “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. …
MANAGEMENT SPEAK: That’s very interesting. TRANSLATION: I disagree. MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I don’t disagree. TRANSLATION: I disagree. MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I don’t totally disagree with you. TRANSLATION: You may be right, but I don’t care. MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You have to show some flexibility. TRANSLATION: You have to do it whether you want to or not. MANAGEMENT SPEAK: …
A man goes to Frederick’s of Hollywood. He wants to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit. “This is $200,” she says. “I want one that’s more sheer,” says he. “This one is $350.” “I want it even more sheer than that.” …
You’re a geek if … If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife” If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie If you want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas If Dilbert is your hero If you stare at an orange juice …
If an S and an I and an O and a U With an X at the end spell Su; And an E and a Y and an E spell I, Pray what is a speller to do? Then, if also an S and an I and a G And an HED spell side, There’s …
How to determine YOUR Star Wars name: Your New First Name: 1. Take the first 3 letters of your 1st name. 2. Add the first 2 letters of your last name. Your New Last Name: 3. Take the first 2 letters of your Mom’s maiden name. 4. Add the first 3 letters of the city …
— KIDS’ INSTRUCTIONS ON LIFE — Never trust a dog to watch your food. -Patrick, Age 10 When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. -Matthew, Age 12 Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. -Andrew, Age 9 Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. -Rocky, Age 9 Sleep in your …
You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won’t work. It’s really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!! First, get a pen and paper. Second, write the numbers one through six in a column. Next to number ONE, write any number. Next to number TWO, write the name of anyone to …
Bob won a ticket to the Super Bowl. Approaching the stadium, he was extremely excited. Once he got inside, he couldn’t find his seat. Finally he asked an usher to help him find his seat. The usher guided him to the top row. Then the usher pointed and said seat 25. Bob settled in his …
OK to use, IOHO Full Abbreviated Version Version 🙂 Happy 🙂 (-: Left Handed/Australian (: 🙁 Sad 🙁 😉 Winky 😉 #-) Oh, what a night! #) :-O Yelling/Shocked :O 😐 Frowning 😐 For those wanting a more ‘aesthetically pleasing’ emoticon you can use the profile version… some examples are below: :^) :^] ;^) Perhaps, …
