You’re A Geek If …

You’re a geek if …

  1. If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife”
  2. If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
  3. If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
  4. If you want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas
  5. If Dilbert is your hero
  6. If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
  7. If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
  8. If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
  9. If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
  10. If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
  11. If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids toys
  12. If you use a CAD package to design your son’s Pine Wood Derby car
  13. If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
  14. If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
  15. If you window shop at Radio Shack
  16. If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
  17. If you have “Dilbert” comics displayed anywhere in your work area
  18. If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
  19. If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera’s flash attachment
  20. If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is
  21. If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
  22. If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
  23. If you own “Official Star Trek” anything
  24. If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what’s inside
  25. If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
  26. If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
  27. If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
  28. If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
  29. If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
  30. If you have never backed-up your hard drive
  31. If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
  32. If you truly believe aliens are living among us
  33. If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
  34. If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance “as-is”
  35. If you see a good design and still have to change it
  36. If the salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your questions
  37. If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
  38. If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
  39. If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don’t remember where they are
  40. If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
  41. If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
  42. If you have more toys than your kids
  43. If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
  44. If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
  45. If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
  46. If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
  47. If your IQ number is bigger than your weight
  48. If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you rush up to the front to fix it
  49. If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
  50. If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
  51. If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
  52. If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family’s first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
  53. If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
  54. If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting
  55. If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
  56. If you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
  57. If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
  58. If you did the sound system for your senior prom
  59. If your checkbook always balances
  60. If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
  61. If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
  62. If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
  63. If you thought the real heroes of “Apollo 13” were the mission controllers
  64. If you think your computer looks better without the cover
  65. If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn’t get enough sleep
  66. If your wife/husband hasn’t the foggiest idea what you do at work
  67. If you spend more on your home computer than your car
  68. If you know what http:/ stands for
  69. If you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
  70. If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
  71. If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours
  72. If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
  73. If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
  74. If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Coffee 2. Chocolate 3. Pretzels 4. Jolt Cola

Date: unknown