Emoticons (aka Smileys)

OK to use, IOHO

Full Abbreviated
Version Version
:-) Happy :)
(-: Left Handed/Australian (:
:-( Sad :(
;-) Winky ;)
#-) Oh, what a night! #)
:-O Yelling/Shocked :O
:-| Frowning :|

For those wanting a more 'aesthetically pleasing' emoticon you can use the profile version... some examples are below:

:^) :^] ;^)

Perhaps, a semi-colon too far

So, when words absolutely fail you...

~~:-[ Net Flame
:-$ Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
:-P Sticking Out Tongue
:-@ Screaming/Swearing/Very Angry/About To Be Sick
:*) Drunk/Clown
>;-> Wicked Grin
:-# Been Smacked In The Mouth/Wears A Brace/Kiss
R-) Broken Glasses
(:-) Bald
:-))) Is Very Fat
:-{} Wears Lipstick
=:-) A Dickhead
@:-) Wears A Turban
>:-> Leering
$-) Yuppie/Just Won A Large Sum Of Money
:,( Crying
:=) Two Noses
8:] Gorilla
8-) Wears Glasses
B:-) Wears Sun Glasses On Head
:-T Keeping A Straight Face/Tight Lipped
:-y Said With A Smile
:-| Disgusted/Grim/No Expression
:~-( Crying/Shed A Tear
:'-( Crying
:~(~~ Crying
:-Q A Smoker
:-! A Smoker
%-\ Has A Hangover
|-o Bored
:-X A Kiss/Lips Are Sealed
(:-D Has A Big Mouth
(:+) Has A Big Nose
:-{) Has A Moustache
:-* Just Ate Something Sour/Bitter Taste/Kiss
[:-) Is Wearing A Walkman

Definitely, off the wall!

Some people can't have anything else to do! ...those which are, frankly, taking the p***!

(:-) Bicycle Helmets
:-)' Tends To Drool
=:-) Punk
+-:-) The Pope
O:-) An Angel
*<:-)> Santa
o-<:-{{{ Santa
*<|:-) Santa/A Clown
5:-) Elvis Presley
:-% Banker
:-: Mutant Smiley
(-:|:-) Siamese Twins
7:-) Fred Flinstone
:/7) Cyrano de Bergerac
C):-O
C):-O
C):-O
C):-O A Barbershop Quartet
3:-o A Cow
8:-) A Pig/A Little Girl
:\/ A Woodpecker
]:-> The Devil
,-) A One Eyed Winky
|-( Lost Contact Lenses
#:-) Matted Hair/Fur Hat/Crewcut/Messy Hair
&:-) Curly Hair
C=:-) A Chef
><:>== A Turkey
=|:-)= Uncle Sam/Abe Loncoln
7:) Ronald Reagan
+<:-| Monk/Nun
:_) A Boxer/Had a Fight/Nose Is Sliding Of Face
>>:-) Devil/Horrible User
>>>>(:-) A Hat Salesman
{ A Psycho
(:I An Egghead
b:-) A Baseball Fan/Has A Cap On
(-) Needs A Haircut
;-(*) Feels Sick
*****:-) Marge Simpson
[:] A Robot
:-[ A Vampire/Count Dracula/Pouting/Sarcastic
:-F A Bucktoothed Vampire/Has Major Dental Problems
:=) Orangutan/Has Two Noses
:-? Smokes A Pipe
:-8( Condescending
8-# Death/Dead
>>:-<< Mad
;^) Smirking
>>:-1 Klingon
!-( Black Eye
) Cheshire Cat
(:-D Blabber Mouth
A Schizo *#*!^*&:-) phrenic
:-'| Has A Cold/Flu
:$) Donald Trump
:-.) Marilyn Monroe/Madonna
:-) 8 Dolly Parton
:-|:-| Deja'vu
><*:oDX A Clown
C|:-= Charlie Chaplin
: .) Cindy Crawford
=) Adolf Hitler
~:o A Baby
===:-D Don King
8(:-) Mickey Mouse/Walt Disney
(|-| F Robocop
3:*> Rudolph the Reindeer
P-) A Pirate
%-~ Picasso
':-) Has One Eyebrow

TLA's (Three Letter Abbreviations)

Anything to avoid RSI (repetitive strain injury)

 Grin
ROFL Rolling on the floor, laughing
LOL Laughing out loud
IMHO In my humble opinion
IOHO In our humble opinion
IMO In my opinion
BTW By the way
RTFM Read the f****** manual