HE SAID: Q: Why are brides dressed in white? A: So they match the rest of the appliances. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring wedding ring suffering Before …
Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. …
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in …
Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages from God. This non-denominational campaign started in September sponsored by an anonymous client. “Let’s Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game ” – God “C’mon Over And Bring The Kids ” – …
Top 10 reasons e-mail is like a penis: (10) Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off. (9) Those who have it think that those who don’t are somehow inferior. (8) Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s neat, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those …
Four guys are telling stories in a bar. One guy leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left. The first guy says, “I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a …
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When …
Ads in Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren’t distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in here with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels… I write, “Could …
My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week’s vacation in Arizona, so she wrote to a travel trailer court and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how …
Dear ya’ll: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve your area on Christmas Eve. Due to recent changes in my union contract renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209, I now serve only certain areas of northern Wisconsin and west Michigan. I also get …
