(to the tune of “Gilligan’s Island,” more or less) Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale Of the doom that is our fate. That started when programmers used Two digits for a date. Two digits for a date. Main memory was smaller then; Hard disks were smaller, too. “Four digits are extravagant, So …
We all know those cute little computer symbols called “emoticons,” where 🙂 means a smile and 🙁 is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by 🙂 and 🙁 respectively. Well, how about some “asscons”? Here goes: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_._) a flat ass (_^_) a bubble …
NEW TECHNOLOGY ARRIVAL CAUSES GREAT EXCITMENT! BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – even sitting in an armchair by the fire-yet …
You might be addicted to the Net if… You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act. You kiss your significant other’s home page. Your bookmarks list takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. You find yourself brainstorming for new …
10) Competition is good. 90% market share is better. 9) We’re disappointed that the US government failed to reach a reasonable settlement with Microsoft. We thought that our press release last year about Microsoft buying the US government took care of these little details. 8) We support a free marketplace. So long as our support …
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Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake …
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before …
Computer was something on tv From a science fiction show A window was something you hated to clean…. And ram was the cousin of a goat….. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was your middle finger upright Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes An application was for …
You might be a Federation Redneck if… ….he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of “Bassmaster.” ….he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens. ….he paints the starship John Deere green. ….he refers to a Pulsar as a “Blue Light Special. ….he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a “swamp.” ….his moonshine …
As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow: Five reasons to believe computers are …
