Caller: “Hello, is this Tech Support?” Tech Rep: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?” Caller: “The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?” Tech Rep: “I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?” Caller: “Yes, it’s attached …
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring except Papa’s mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would bring new software. The children were nestled …
(sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”) Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’, From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’ Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit Clicking, Unaware time is ticking. There’s beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week! Happily addicted to the web. Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, …
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MICROSOFT Press Release: For general release Date: December 16, 1998 Release date for the new operating system “Windows 2000” will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.
Ellen Degeneres virus…..Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC Monica Lewinsky virus….Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic virus…..Makes your whole computer go down Disney virus….Everthing in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson virus……Quits after one byte Prozac virus……Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care Sharon Stone virus….Makes a huge initial …
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers down Hwy 82 (El Camino Real NW of San Jose ) stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over …
Log On: Making a wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don’t add no more wood. Monitor: Keeping an eye on the wood stove. Download: Gettin’ the farwood off the truk. Mega Hertz: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood. Floppy Disc: Whutcha git from tryin’ ta carry too much farwood. Ram: That thar thing whut splits …
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he …
I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy”. – – …
The Top 10 Signs the Tech Support Person Has Gone Completely Nuts 10. Asks every caller, “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a date?” 9. Attempts a mind meld with your Pentium chip. 8. Insists you stay on the phone until you’ve gone through all five stages of grief. 7. The …
