Home is where you hang your @ The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. Great groups from little icons grow. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. C:\ is the root of …
At the most recent COMDEX computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.” General Motors addressed this comment yesterday by releasing the Statement “Yes, …
Between moments of dispensing wisdom, it seems that historical religious leaders had also learned software programming. One day, a great contest was held to test their skills. After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day’s event: Jesus and Mohammed. The judge described the software application required for the …
Caught On Tape! Amish Computer Scandal Shocks Community. BIRD-IN-HAND, PENNSYLVANIA: In a recent sting operation, the Amish Bureau of Internal Affairs seized literally hundreds of dollars of unauthorized electronic equipment from the backwoods tool shed of Jeremiah and Ezekiel Holzmann. The brothers were in the process of downloading email when the raid took place. Most …
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter. LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood RAM: That thar thing whut splits the …
(If you follow all of this perfectly well, then you should feel like a real geek. I know I do… 🙂 ) A detailed explanation of sex for the computer literate and real life illiterate. Think of sex as a new protocol developed for real world communication and interaction between members of the opposite sex, …
The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate: This fire help. Me Groog Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work. You have flint and stone? Ugh You hit them together? Ugh What happen? Fire not work (sigh) Make spark? No spark, …
Stop neglecting children; at least learn their names and birthdays Stop circulating the “Good Times Virus” and “Join the Crew” e-mail Read all of the mail from all of the lists I have subscribed to Limit my subscriptions of lists to a maximum of fifty Back-up 4 gig hard drive weekly; well, maybe at least …
Twas the night before implementation and all through the house not a program was working, not even a browse. The programmers hung round their cubes in despair with hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of inquiries danced in their heads. When out …
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa’s mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software. The children were nestled all …
