20) Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’95. 19) Fetch command not available on all platforms. 18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. 17) Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit. 16) Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.” 15) Fire hydrant icon …
Continue reading ‘Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don’t Use Computers’ »
Calling me with a stupid question you can’t quite articulate – $30 Implying I’m incompetent because I can’t interpret your inarticulate problem description – $1000 + punitive damages Questions received via phone without first trying help desk – $10.00 Questions where answer is in TFM – $100.00 Calling me back with the same problem *after* …
Two groups, one composed of women and the second of men, were once set up to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender – like ships which are addressed as ‘she ‘ and ‘he’- or the masculine gender. They were asked four reasons for their recommendations. The men reported that computers …
General Motors doesn’t have a “help line” for people who don’t know how to drive, because people don’t buy/use cars like they buy/use computers HELPLINE: “General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?” CUSTOMER: “I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!” HELPLINE: “Did you put the key in the ignition …
1. How big is the Internet? When did it start? How did it grow? The Internet is actually much smaller than most people think. It is primarily composed of fiber optic cables no thicker than a human hair, which can be conveniently rolled up and stored in a foot locker. Janitors at the National Science …
Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing. One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive – he had missed …
Dear Cassius: Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven’t much time left. I don’t know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start …
This Old Mainframe – Host Bob Vila revamps a Univac and shows you how you can turn an old PC into a functional doorstep or other decorative object. Name That Software – Contestants attempt to identify well-known business programs by looking at the least number of lines of code. My Three Suns – Neighbors wonder …
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS …
OK to use, IOHO Full Abbreviated Version Version 🙂 Happy 🙂 (-: Left Handed/Australian (: 🙁 Sad 🙁 😉 Winky 😉 #-) Oh, what a night! #) :-O Yelling/Shocked :O 😐 Frowning 😐 For those wanting a more ‘aesthetically pleasing’ emoticon you can use the profile version… some examples are below: :^) :^] ;^) Perhaps, …
