Cyberholic Carol

(sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)

Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’,
From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’
Happily addicted to the Web.

All night long, I sit Clicking,
Unaware time is ticking.
There’s beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week!
Happily addicted to the web.

Friends come by; they shake me,
Saying, “Yo, Man!”
Don’t you know tonight’s the Senior Prom?”
With a Listless shrug, I mutter “No, man;
I’ve just discovered Letterman-dot-com!”

I don’t phone, don’t send faxes,
Don’t go out, don’t pay taxes.
Who cares if some day
They drag me away?
I’m Happily addicted to the Web!”