Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests See if a yawn really is contagious Slap your neighbour. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the priest Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs Listen for your preacher to use a …
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The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that …
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign. It reads “SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 10 MILES”. He pays no attention to it and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says “SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 5 MILES” …
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. …
The jewels found below are said to be written by actual students and are genuine, authentic, and unretouched. Compiled by Richard Lederer, they appear in the 12/31/95 issue of National Review. “In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve …
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CHILDREN’S LETTERS TO GOD Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -Lucy Dear GOD, Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the …
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as always to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend replied, “I’m …
Sister Mary Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, “This is Sister Mary Margaret. There’s been a terrible mistake!” She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he’d get right on it. The next day the nun didn’t hear from Saint Peter and called him …
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!!? Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in …
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?”, The Lord replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy.” …
