It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During W.W.II I hid a Jewish man in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me …
A preacher wanted to earn money for his church. He had heard there was big money in horse racing, so he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was too steep and the preacher ended up buying a donkey. The preacher …
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died. After several days of not being rescued, they …
Inside Sources at Disney’s amination studios have revealed that the next big animated release will be based on the story of the Branch Davidians. More properly known as “Students of the Seven Seals,” these wacky cultists laugh and joke their way through a fired-up full-length feature, gaining converts and plotting to take over the world …
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An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer–you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building …
A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff. Full of fear he assessed his situation. He …
The Pope met with the Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, leader of the Jewish nation. “Your holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior by challenging you to a golf match.” The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf …
The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff. “It’s my direct line to the Lord,” answers the Pope. The Rabbi is skeptical, and the …
A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing, with water surrounding the farmer’s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up, The man in the boat says “Jump in, I’ll take you to safety.” The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, “Nope, I …
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” …
