A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon was stuck in a traffic jam on Interstate 95, and he thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s moving.” The man noticed a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolled down his window …
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it`s inoperable – in fact, it`s so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains – there`s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an …
We’ve heard Clinton’s earlier remarks regarding lying to the American public. Here’s your right to know the following . . . (check date and source) “Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the media with pornographic material while pretending it …
Through the marvels of technology, we were able to use the new patented Bullcrap-Canceler 9000 to see what President Clinton was *really* trying to say in his August 17th Speech to the Nation. [Translated comments are in brackets.] “President Bill Clinton’s Speach” Aug. 17, 1998 CLINTON: Good evening. [Yo.] This afternoon in this room, from …
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients for them to operate on: The first surgeon says: “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second responds: “Try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.” The third surgeon says: “No, librarians are the best. …
An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path… so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on …
Letter to Thomas Jefferson The Court of King George III London, England July 10, 1776 Mr. Thomas Jefferson c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Dear Mr. Jefferson: We have read your “Declaration of Independence” with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration …
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. …
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog …
