While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next …
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing God said to them was: “Don’t.” “Don’t what?” Adam asked. “Don’t eat the forbidden fruit”, said God. …
The Ages of Woman: 1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. 2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. 3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. …
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the …
#1) An angry mob has surrounded a prostitute and is preparing to stone her. Jesus steps up and says “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Suddenly a woman rushes up and smashes a huge stone on the prostitutes head. Jesus looks at the woman and says “You know mom, sometimes you …
PROGRESS REPORT: PASTORAL SEARCH COMMITTEE REPORT In our search for a suitable pastor, the following notes have been assembled as to progress to date. They are confidential information and shared here for your perusal. To date, of the candidates investigated by the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities to serve our …
Computer was something on tv From a science fiction show A window was something you hated to clean…. And ram was the cousin of a goat….. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was your middle finger upright Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes An application was for …
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back …
A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with …
You are an Internet Addict when… You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue as to when it happened. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom. Your nightmares are in HTML …
