To all in-house computer users. As some of you know we have been having various hardware and software problems, especially installing some of our new software. I have not been able to fix many of these and I have thus become very frustrated. With that in mind and because of heightened concern over Y2K problems, …
BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.) OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB. AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI VIRUS: Every …
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look Michael, at what I’ve made.” Archangel …
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back …
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1,300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire. While details were not available at press time, …
I have a spell checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot see Eye ran this poem threw it Your sure real glad two no Its very polished in its own weigh My chequer tolled me sew A cheek or is a blessing It freeze …
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s …
When she says: “What would you like for Christmas?” Here’s what to suggest!! This is enclosed in case you want to drop it somewhere for someone to read. Christmas is just around the corner so it’s time for me to share some gift ideas for those special men in your life! Buying gifts for men …
by Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the book, “Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies, Facts, and Fun in Forecasting”, by Norm Macdonald Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for …
Today is an odd day, meaning that all of the digits are odd, 11-19-1999. The next odd day after today will be 1-1-3111 (over a thousand years away). The next even day will be 2-2-2000 (the first one since 8-28-0888). This will be your last odd day on earth. Just thought you should know.
