A blonde is sitting on a plane waiting for it to depart, when a lawyer-looking guy comes and sits next to her. While she is trying to catch some zzz’s, the guy next to her leans over and says, ‘Do you want to play a game? We’ll ask each other questions and if we don’t [...]
Archive of posts filed under the Humor category.
Plane Trouble
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they [...]
Grown Up Words
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.
“You need to use ‘grownup words,’” she’d always remind them. She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend.
“I went to visit my Nana,” Wendy said. “No, you went to visit [...]
Mirror, Mirror
A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room. There they found a strange-looking woman sitting at the door’s entrance.
“Welcome to the ladies room,” she said. “Be sure to check out our newest feature a mirror [...]
Blondie Y2K Conversion
To: My Boss
From: Blondie
Subject: Changing calendars from Y2K
I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars for next year.
The calendars have returned [...]
Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: ? I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, Asshole. [...]
Jigsaw Puzzle
One morning a blonde calls her friend and says “Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to start it.”
Her friend asks “What is it a puzzle of?”
The blonde says “From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
The friend figures he’s pretty good at [...]
Flowers
Friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, “Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again…..for no reason.”
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, “What’s the big deal, don’t you like [...]
Swimming
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled up [...]
What Do Babies Think?
Look Who’s Thinking – What Do Babies think? [From "The Dad Zone: Reports from the Tender, Bewildering, and Hilarious World of Fatherhood", by Michael Burkett (Simon & Schuster, 1993)]
Due to an incredible scientific breakthrough accomplished with the newest and most sophisticated brain-wave analysis devices, it is now possible to literally read the minds of infants.
Despite [...]