Tim & Andy’s NBA Plea for Help With the Christmas season approaching, please look into your heart to help those in need. Hundreds of National Basketball Association basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, they will be deprived …
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring except Papa’s mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would bring new software. The children were nestled …
(sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”) Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’, From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’ Happily addicted to the Web. All night long, I sit Clicking, Unaware time is ticking. There’s beard on my cheek, Same clothes for a week! Happily addicted to the web. Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, …
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it’s missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike …
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MICROSOFT Press Release: For general release Date: December 16, 1998 Release date for the new operating system “Windows 2000” will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.
The student – not necessarily a well-prepared student – sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to …
In a small Southern town there was a Nativity Scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me: The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, …
An Annotated Thermometer 60- Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) 50- Miami residents turn on the heat 40- You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming 35- Italian cars don’t start 32- Water freezes 30- You plan your vacation to Australia Minnesotans put on T-shirts Politicians …
right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. over by a policeman. lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he “made the dinner”. contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus…breathe….push….” socks. to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M’s. game. resting to …
What a woman says: “This place is a mess! C’mon, You and I need to clean up, Your stuff is lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear, if we don’t do laundry right now!” What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C’MON blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, …
