A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was …
Don’t know if this is true or not… When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before …
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them gets in. St. Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she …
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You might be an engineer if… (new material included) The only jokes you receive are through email At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights. Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a …
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that …
Caller: “Hello, is this Tech Support?” Tech Rep: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?” Caller: “The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?” Tech Rep: “I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?” Caller: “Yes, it’s attached …
Don’t sweat petty things….or pet sweaty things.
WOMEN JOKES ABOUT MEN How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut. Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time. Why does it take 1 million sperm to …
A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon was stuck in a traffic jam on Interstate 95, and he thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s moving.” The man noticed a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolled down his window …
This guy buys a parrot that is already about a year or two old. It can talk, but only knows curse words. He cusses all the time and when he is not cussing, he is rude. The guy tries to change the parrot’s attitude. He plays soft music and talks very nice to the bird …
