Note: All “real men” answer “C” to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives if they carefully review the “C” answers. 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token …
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled …
A man and his little nephew were in line at the movies. The little boy was standing in front of his uncle and in front of the little boy was a very large woman with a very wide behind stretched from one side to the other. Well the little boy looked at the woman’s behind …
Look Who’s Thinking – What Do Babies think? [From “The Dad Zone: Reports from the Tender, Bewildering, and Hilarious World of Fatherhood”, by Michael Burkett (Simon & Schuster, 1993)] Due to an incredible scientific breakthrough accomplished with the newest and most sophisticated brain-wave analysis devices, it is now possible to literally read the minds of …
Socialism — If you have 2 cows, you give one to your neighbor. Communism — If you have 2 cows, you give them to the government; and the government gives you some milk. Fascism — If you have 2 cows, you keep the cows but give the milk to the government, who then sells you …
Men are like chocolate bars……Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. Men are like coffee…….The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long. Men are like horoscopes…….They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Men are like cement……After getting laid, they take a long …
Once upon a time, two brooms fell in love and decided to get married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom informed the groom broom that she was expecting a little whisk-broom. The groom broom was aghast! ‘How is this possible?’ he asked. ‘We’ve never swept together!’ Date: Mon, 28 Jun 1999 11:42:26 -0500
President Clinton is arriving back in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas. He steps out of the plane carrying two pigs, one under each arm. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs the Marine sharply salutes him as usual. Clinton says: “I’d salute you back son, but as you can …
The boss needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?” “Yes,” …
DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP: #1 – LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to remove a bees’ nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a pineapple. A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and retreated …
