A Chinese couple get married … and she’s a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: “My darling, I know this is your first time, and you are frightened. I assure you, I will give …
Two lawyers are stranded on a deserted island, nothing around them for miles and miles but water. They’ve been stranded here for quite some time, so they’ve gotten quite bored with one another. One of the lawyers tells the other he’s going to climb to the top of the tree (the only thing on the …
Phone conversations last 30 seconds You know useful stuff about cars, tanks and airplanes A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase Bathroom lines are 80% shorter You can open all your own jars Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight When clicking thru the channels you don’t have to …
Continue reading ‘Wishful Thinking About Why It’s Great To Be a Guy’ »
Date: Fri, 18 Sep 1998 09:31:52 -0500 10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote (Men don’t want to see what’s on television, they want to see WHAT …
In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio stations paid money ($100-$500) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $300….. I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office: I had been rescheduled for early that …
I’M GLAD I’M A MAN I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only …
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor. 1. NAME __________ DATE OF BIRTH __________ 2. HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q __________ G.P.A. __________ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY ______-____-________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________ …
Continue reading ‘Application for Permission to Date my Daughter’ »
Some late breaking health news from Reuters (this one is true): Thursday July 16 6:43 PM EDT Device reduces flatulence odor Activated charcoal can help people who suffer from flatulence by absorbing offensive odors, according to US researchers. The device, known as the “Toot Trapper” eliminated over 90% of the odor generated by study volunteers …
A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving him the evening off to do as he pleased since they would be out until quite late. The couple went to a ball and dinner. After an hour and a half, the Wife told her …
1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed. Both are threatened by their own kind. Both mark their territory. Both are bad at asking you questions. Both have an inordinate fascination with women’s crotches. Neither does any dishes. Both pass gas shamelessly. Neither of them notice …
