Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. …
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the old open cockpit airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. “$10 for 3 minutes,” replied the pilot. “That’s too much,” said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, “I’ll make you a …
BOYS A heart is not a play thing, a heart is not a toy, but if you want it broken, Just give it to a boy. Boys they like to play with things To see what makes them run, But when it comes to kissing, They do it just for fun. Boys never give their …
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None — how do you figure …
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, cuddle, excite, pacify, protect, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, …
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the …
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of these particular phenomena was included …
There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men …
The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. “Nothing much Pastor.” replied the one lad. “We just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life.” “Boys! Boys! Boys!” he intoned. “I’m shocked. Why when I was your age, …
The Ages of Woman: 1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. 2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. 3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. …
