WHAT A GUY REALLY MEANS…. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “It’s a guy thing.” Really means…. “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you …
Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell us how wonderful we are. Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say; Everything they do. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. …
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being …
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the …
A woman was trying to board a bus, but her skirt was too tight and she couldn’t step up. She reached behind her and lowered the zipper a bit and tried again. The Skirt was still too tight. She reached behind her and lowered the zipper some more. She still couldn’t get on the bus …
Fed up with the way the bride invariably steals the show at her own wedding, the University at which Rob Tombes works carried in its news weekly its own unbiased account of his recent marriage here to Mary Beth Snyder: Mr Robert Tombes, son of Dr. and Mrs. Averett S. Tombes of Fairfax, Va., became …
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him “Daddy, what’s sex?” So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs etc… He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and …
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!!? Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in …
Did you hear about the heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. Then, one day, he was reading the Washington Post when he noticed a small ad that read: Lose weight, …
TIPS ON LOVE. From those that should know (all questions were answered by kids, age 5-10) WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?? “Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8) “Once I’m done with kindergarten, …
