A festive holiday poem Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Geeks? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, …
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Computer Problem Report Form 1. Describe your problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__ 5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Strange Smell__ …
“NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONGS” YESTERDAY Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There’s not half the files there used to be, And there’s a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly. I pushed something wrong What it was …
In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum. “It’s actually a logical extension of our planned growth”, said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, “It really is going to be a …
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(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the “Hacker Barbie.” These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged. This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie’s very own xterminal and UNIX documentation …
And it came to pass after these things that G-d did test Avraham. And He said to him “Avraham!” And Avraham replied “Hineni – here I am.” And He said, “Take your computer, your old computer, your 286, and install upon it an operating system, a new operating system, Windows 95, which I will show …
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Millennia Year Application Software System This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will …
Actual dialogue of a FORMER WordPerfect Customer Support employee: “Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?” “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.” “What sort of trouble?” “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.” “Went away?” “They disappeared.” “Hmmy. So what does your screen look like …
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged …
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AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD COMPUTER PROBLEMS… Check out these excerpts from a Wall street Journal article by Jim Carlton. 1) Compaq is considering changing the command “Press any key”to “Press Return key” because of the floods of calls asking where the any key is. 2) AST Technical support had a caller complaining that her …
