Six Presidents

6 Presidents on a sinking boat Ford says: “What do we do” Bush says: “Man the lifeboats” Reagan says: “What lifeboats” Carter says: “Women first” Nixon says: “Screw the women” Clinton says: “You think we have time?” Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 11:56:34 -0500

The Bible in 50 Words

God made Adam bit Noah arked Abraham split Joseph ruled Jacob fooled Bush talked Moses balked Pharaoh plagued People walked Sea divided Tablets guided Promise landed Saul freaked David peeked Prophets warned Jesus born God walked Love talked Anger crucified Hope died Love rose Spirit flamed Word spread God remained.

Headache

Husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table. Husband gets up and goes to the cupboard. He brings back a bottle of tylenol and a glass of water. He places it in front of his wife. Wife says “what’s that for? I don`t have a headache.” Husband says “GOTCHA!”