Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong
You might be an engineer if …
- … you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
- … the sales people at the local computer store can’t answer any of your questions
- … at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
- … you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
- … you can type 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
- … you comment to your spouse that his/her straight hair is nice and parallel.
- … you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.
- … you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
- … you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
- … you know what “http://” stands for.
- … you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids’ toys together.
- … you see a good design and still have to change it.
- … you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
- … you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
- … you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
- … you window shop at Radio Shack
- ….your laptop computer costs more than your car.
- … your spouse hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
- … you’ve already calculated how much you make per second.
- … you’ve tried to repair a $5 radio.
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 1999 09:31:26 -0500