Engineer Humor

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to be an undertaker.

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong

You might be an engineer if …

  • … you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
  • … the sales people at the local computer store can’t answer any of your questions
  • … at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
  • … you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
  • … you can type 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
  • … you comment to your spouse that his/her straight hair is nice and parallel.
  • … you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.
  • … you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
  • … you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  • … you know what “http://” stands for.
  • … you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids’ toys together.
  • … you see a good design and still have to change it.
  • … you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
  • … you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
  • … you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
  • … you window shop at Radio Shack
  • ….your laptop computer costs more than your car.
  • … your spouse hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
  • … you’ve already calculated how much you make per second.
  • … you’ve tried to repair a $5 radio.

Date: Fri, 15 Oct 1999 09:31:26 -0500