Skool and the Educashion System
A Chapel Hill area mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss, he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement there …
THE EVOLUTION OF MATHEMATICS TRAINING OVER THE PAST FIFTY YEARS Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 …
THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS’ SCIENCE EXAMS: “Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.” “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.” “H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.” “To collect fumes of sulphur, …
Last Name: ________________ First name: (Check appropriate box): (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy Age: ____, if known Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (phonetic spellings available) (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ …
A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with …
Something to be shared by educators and/or their spouses. You might be a teacher if… You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free. You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside. You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own …
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room …
Kurt Vonnegut’s commencement address at MIT: ==================================== Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my …
You might be (or once were) a college student… If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents. If you have a fine …
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