A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining”, he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me”, she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he said. Well, as these things go, they …
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father and son chats. Lightsabers drawn and sparks flying. Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, “I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke,” he said, “Ohhh, yes! I know!” Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platform …
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious …
Groaner #1: The couple left the gynecologist’s office with the wife in tears. They were just told that she could never become pregnant. They would never have the family they both desired so fervently. Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them. I think I can help you, he said, handing them a card. “Why are …
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. “Certainly madam”, he replied courteously. “Is the resturant open still?” inquired Mary. “Sorry, no,” came the reply, “but room service is available all …
Olaf died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to I.D. the body. So they called up his two friends Swen and Lars to come and try to I.D. the body. Swen went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet and Swen said “Yaa, he’s burnt …
After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to …
Q. What did the judge say when three skunks walked into the courtroom? A. Odor in the court! Odor in the court!
Q. What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? A. One wears a suit, and the other just pants.
What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart. A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.” So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a …
