What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart. A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.” So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a …
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.” — Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “I’m …
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu, he says, “I’ll just have the eggs benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a huge fancy chrome plate. He asks the waiter, “What’s with the fancy plate?” …
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
What did the fish say when it was swimming upstream and hit its head on a concrete wall? DAM!
A scientist finally succeeded in cloning himself, but all his clone would do was hang around and spew out cuss words. After a week of that, the scientist finally got fed up and pushed his clone out of his 10th story office window. A short time later there was a knock on his office door. …
