Groaner #1: The couple left the gynecologist’s office with the wife in tears. They were just told that she could never become pregnant. They would never have the family they both desired so fervently. Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them. I think I can help you, he said, handing them a card. “Why are you masked?” the husband asked. Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scrapping from one of your mouths and culture it. In less than a year, we will have your baby for you. This is the answer to our prayers! the wife exclaimed. Then she turned to thank the stranger but he was gone. Who do you think that was? she asked her husband who answered, That was the Clone Arranger.

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Groaner #2: It was the best piece he had ever written. His masterpiece. The story of a classic chess match told from the point of view of the lest significant piece, the black queen’s knight’s pawn. So he was devastated to receive the letter of rejection from his publisher. You should have known better. It read, Our firm will never publish pawnography.